There comes a time in our life, in our journey where one feel stuck, feel like they ain’t doing enough. A time where one question themselves about their own future, how will it look like if I don’t act now?
This is my daily anxiety because I worry a lot about my dreams / career, I worry if am I still on track? If ‘m still in line with all the things that I’ve once dreamt about? Yes, it not an easy process to do believe me! because it comes with a lot of stress, self doubt and comperisim.
I know I am capable of being the greatest in my field the problem is how will I know once I have reached it? Will my gut feeling say “Yes we have arrived, relax.” I wonder…. Working under pressure it ain’t easy. Its has it own advantages and disadvantages because at some point you lose focus on on your “why”. You start to give all your energy to new project that you have started and can not finish it on time. You neglect yourself in the process, your body will be there but your mind won’t be fully present of what you are doing.
I have walked many journies in my life to a point that I can’t even reflect back on them. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what was going on in my life when I started college on ny 1st year,t because I was not present. My brain can’t even recall it but physically I was there, I walked that mile stone, I walked passed that bridge but yet again I dont remember seeing it.
Life is challenging, there are journies that you have passed but and overcome them but at the same time, it was not an easy walk ti finish and that okay. Now it a chance to start again, no pressure, no multitasking . By the way there was a study that was done and it proves that there is no such thing as multitasking because you end up focusing on that one particular task and you end up finishing it good and the others? Yes you might finished them but the result won’t be so great or be the same as the one you gave your attention too. I suppose it true because, Ive realized that with myself.
Wanting to excel in my career and wanting to be great comes with a lot of sacrifices because this means I need to find myself a scholarship that will take care of the educational bill or I pay it off from my pocket, well funding your own education can be very costly, it sure makes you broke and obviously you won’t be able to pay it off once. ( if you are able, you are one of the luckiest one). Sometimes you can’t even go for a shopping spree at Zara or H&M like other kids at your age group.
That the sacrifice I am talking about. I’ve done this before for 2 years, ohhhh boy did I not feel it? I did boo. It was draining but I knew that I needed it, I knew it will change my life one day just one day. I agree that it comes with a lot of stress or rather stressful days. I remember back then while I was studying, I would do a peep talk with myself and say “one day my girl you will overcome this and rejoice” or when I am frustrated I would say “Im never doing this to you ever again.”
Sometimes one needs to take a break. Find something else that you can focus on and give it your time and energy while enjoying in the process.
I went and found one, BUT it still wanted all my money I mean!!! Like how Sis? Yes, it did and I was happy to invest on it for 2 years of my life which I am not regretting it at all, In fact it one of the things I am very proud off that I’ve accomplished it.
The only question I am left with is; “Can I do it again? start again?” My heart and my soul shout a big YES because I want this change, I want this greatness and I believe that the only way to pull through it by starting.. Just start. Yes it still unclear of the future holds, but what if, it unfold exactly the way you wanted it? that the gamble you must be willing to make about your future because it will be never clear, this time around I know it not clear and I am willing to go with an open mind that it won’t be easy, it will come with it own challenges but I am promising myself to be present in the process. After all that has happened, I want to know and see each and every milestone I pass, I don’t want to be distracted to a point that I lose my whole focus.
I’ve learned that challenges build us, we become fully aware of what kind of human beings we are, they make us realises our strength and understand our weaknesses. I have learned to appreciate them, I have learned to accept life as it is, yes it unfair and that okay. But that won’t stop me from finding my own path, that won’t stop me from dancing in the rain, because facing challenges doesn’t mean I must stop or pause my life and focus on that one challenge that won’t even kill me.
I guess no one prepared us for disappointments hence why we are always ready to receive good news. I have learned that failure its a new bridge to success, I am no longer looking at failure as a shame. Starting this journey will be very interesting because I am willing to give it my all, my 110% so I can gain the experience in this journey.
#doingformysoul
Zamas-Journey 